"Follow
your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." I was first exposed to these words in 2009 when I read Rhonda
Byrne's 'The Secret' for the very first time. I need to mention how special a
book this text has become to me, I take it with me everywhere I travel. Even
though I first read it in 2009, it was only in 2012 that I began to understand
what it was communicating to me. It was also only in 2012 that these words
first 'popped out' to me! I was in the third and last year of my undergraduate
degree at the time. I had been studying on one evening and had taken a break to
read a section of the book. The words stirred something very deep inside of me;
I wanted to know what the words meant for me and the trajectory I was on. I had
in the previous year admitted (to me) that the Actuarial path was not working for
me so this reading was an answer of sorts.
I
have never been able to fully 'get' what these words mean. I non-the-less
have had to make sense of them myself and ask for guidance from these words.
For me, they mean following that which makes you feel most alive and inspired.
They mean doing that which makes your heart jump for joy! They relate to those
activities within which you just lose yourself! Activities that you would want
do even if you were not getting paid to do them. It means doing only that which
your heart says yes to. For Thomas Edison it was the light bulb, the gentleman
had to have a go at it 10 000 times before he succeeded. For Henry Ford, it was
building cars. For Steve Jobs, it was designing a phone with pretty buttons
that people would almost want to eat! How crazy and awesome is that!
I
find that over the years too much focus has been on trying to find what I
wanted to be (e.g. Actuary, Psychologist or Academic) as opposed to what I
wanted to do. Too much time was invested in trying to find a label for it and
placing it in a box as opposed to allowing the heart to take lead and guide me
into areas of passion. I also realize that much of this has been informed by my
upbringing. From an early age, I have had people ask me what I wanted to be!
And I had to come up with answers. I had to categorize myself and place myself
is a certain box of speciality. Even though this has worked for many people, I
find it to have been a point of great struggle for me over the years. With self
analysis and constant self conversation, I now know that I want to do only that
which I am passionate about even if this means doing an activity without a
label. Much of my struggle earlier this year was due to my thinking that my
degree should definitely inform what I do when I finish studying. I thought the
Actuarial Science and Statistics meant that I should get a job in a bank or
some corporate firm and have a corner office. Honestly, these things
(corporate, corner office, corporate ladder, power suit) don't keep me awake at
night. They don't inspire any form of creativity in me.
In
the process I have also had to let go of wanting a JOB. The 'need' for a job is
something that has also been enforced by society for a long time. I write 'need' because we don't really need it. For twenty
years, society had told me to study, get good grades and find a good job. I
wish somebody had advised me to build my own empire! I have been told that
success lies in wearing a power suit and driving a Range Rover. Even though I
still do want my Range Rover, I don't believe that this is or should be the
definition of success for me. For a long time I have been taught that success
lies in a swift climb up the corporate ladder and proving me to be the best in
my industry.
I have had to let go of this misleading notion and it has been a
very liberating process. It is also very scary for it entails walking away from
that which has informed my decisions for two decades. It feels as if the very
foundations of my doing have been taken away. It’s funny how we feel so secure in looking for a JOB and working for other people! It’s even more
fascinating how scared we are to work on our dreams instead and possibly employ
ourselves! I sometimes feel like I'm losing it though! I mean, who doesn't want to get
a job, buy a nice car, and have drinks with friends at Capello every Friday
night and talk about WORK!? It’s a scary process but it is one I am willing to
embrace. I'm willing to step away (even if just for three months) from what I
have been taught for twenty years and try out at a different song. I want to
sing MY SONG and see how the melody appeals to me.
In
my search for answers I've discovered a few things. This is what I know for
sure:
-
I feel most alive when in the company of youngsters, listening to stories of
their dreams and helping build strategies for the realization of these dreams.
-
I feel most alive when giving a word of encouragement and inspiration.
-
I feel most alive as I write this.
-
I feel most alive when I speak on matters of Education and youth empowerment on
our African continent.
-
I feel most alive when in conversation about personal growth and advancement.
-
I want to BUILD things.
-
If I were to get a job, I would need flexibility. I want time to BE and work on
MY dreams. For me, BEING entails Yoga, a lot of reading, writing and journaling
towards self-actualization. This job would also have to be in an organization
whose bottom-line is direct sustainable impact in people's lives.
Universe,
this is my declaration!!
